this vine haunts me
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- me: *says dog's name*
- dog: *ignores me*
- me: *repeats his name a million times until he looks up*
- me: love you
- me: "i haven't been feeling too good lately"
- me thinking: oh god was that manipulative? i think that was manipulative. i'm baiting them into asking about my day oh god i'm so selfish
- me: [makes post about being depressed]
- me thinking: oh fuck that was manipulative wasn't it? i'm literally just fishing for pity now oh god i'm so self-absorbed i may as well just call people outright, screaming "SYMPATHIZE WITH ME" into their ears
- me: [successfully conceals all traces of unhappiness, is an amiable and talkative person with all my friends]
- me thinking: i hate my life so much. am i being selfish for being unhappy because i'm concealing my unhappiness?? AM I BEING MANIPULATIVE?? how did i get to be so conceited i want to die
- Me: *gets on bus* omg everyone is watching me and judging me and they're going to laugh when the bus starts and im not sitting down, omg dont put your ticket in the wrong way or everyone will judge you and laugh at you.
- Me: *goes to pay for shopping* omg what if I dont have enough money? *counts money out 20 times* what if I look stupid, or say the wrong thing? am I standing in the right spot even? What if someone else wants to get past and im in the way, omg.
- Me: *says hey to someone online* omg, they arent replying, holy shit why am I so annoying? what if they tell their friends how annoying and lame I am? Why am I like this, holy shit.
- Me: *meets someone new* What if they dont like me and dont want me to be around, I shouldnt have met them, im going to be a burden, they're probably critisizing me right now, why am I the way I am?
Thats literally me when i see anything behind me lmfao
hahahahahahahahhahahaha
- me to my significant other: you should watch this show
- s/o: yeah maybe
- me: let me rephrase that, if you value this relationship-
- Someone: why do u always say u feel sick
- Me: because, my sweet dude, I literally cannot determine the line between my mental illness and physical unwellness anymore. I am Literally Always Ready To Die I am in a constant state of uncomfort my guy it always makes me feel like I'm gonna be ridin the queasy train to regretville
- Me: haha
- me, 5 seconds before making an online purchase: I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE
- me, 5 seconds after making an online purchase: What Have I Done
thatfunnyguy